Coercive Control

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is not a single act – it is a pattern. It involves one person systematically removing another person's autonomy, independence, and sense of self. The behaviours can include:

• Monitoring your movements, communications, and social media
• Isolating you from friends, family, and support networks
• Controlling your finances, access to transport, or ability to work
• Making threats – explicit or implied – to keep you compliant
• Humiliating, belittling, or undermining your confidence
• Using children, pets, or immigration status as leverage
• Creating rules and punishments that you must follow
• Gaslighting – making you doubt your own perception of reality

Not all coercive control involves shouting or physical violence. Many people experience it as a gradual erosion of freedom that is difficult to see clearly from the inside.

How Coercive Control Affects You

The effects of coercive control are wide-ranging and can persist long after the relationship has ended:

• Anxiety, hypervigilance, and difficulty feeling safe
• Low self-esteem and a diminished sense of identity
• Difficulty making decisions – even small ones
• Confusion about what happened and whether it was "that bad"
• Guilt and self-blame
• Difficulty trusting others
• Physical symptoms including sleep disturbance, fatigue, and chronic tension

Many people affected by coercive control describe a sense of walking on eggshells, constantly monitoring the other person's mood, and losing themselves in the process.

The Legal Position

Coercive control became a criminal offence in England and Wales in 2015 under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act. The legislation recognises that abuse does not have to be physical to be serious. Controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship can carry a maximum sentence of five years.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 extended legal recognition of coercive control and broadened the definition of domestic abuse in England and Wales.

How Therapy Helps

Therapy for coercive control provides a safe, confidential space to:

• Name what happened – many clients arrive unsure whether their experience counts as abuse
• Make sense of the confusion, self-doubt, and guilt that coercive control creates
• Understand the patterns and tactics that were used
• Process the emotional impact at your own pace
• Rebuild your sense of identity, confidence, and autonomy
• Develop awareness of red flags and healthy boundaries
• Address the impact on your relationships, parenting, and daily life

I have specialist experience working with clients affected by coercive control. I also deliver training on this topic for mental health practitioners. Training

I work as an integrative psychotherapist, drawing on person-centred, psychodynamic, and transactional analysis approaches. All sessions are held online via a secure video platform, making support accessible from anywhere in the UK. Online Therapy UK

Related Topics

Coercive control often overlaps with other forms of abuse. You may also want to read about:

• Gender-Based Violence – gender-based violence
• Stalking – stalking
• DARVO – DARVO
• Legal Abuse and NDAs – legal abuse and NDAs

If you have been affected by coercive control and would like to explore therapy, I offer a short, free introductory call. There is no obligation – it is simply a chance to ask questions and see if working together feels right.